Royal Trouble!

In my books, the telephone has been the greatest invention ever. I love the phone, always have and always will. I remember even during my school and college days, I'd get back home and within minutes, get on the phone with friends I'd met just an hour before. It used to get on my mom's nerves; maybe that's why it was more fun:) Anyway the love has sustained over the years although the opportunties and free time to enjoy conversations have lessened. Another major obstacle in the way of my time on the phone is Aishu, my 2-year old.

Aishu is a lot like DH in many ways; cute, stubborn, independent-minded but has taken after me in this one regard - Obsession with the phone. She adores talking on the phone, to herself, her dad, grandparents, anyone!! I normally sneak to a corner of the house while making phone calls to avoid the confrontation and the physical struggle, that is normally followed by a sprint all around the house.

I dont mind her saying a quick" hello" - there's a cuteness factor there for sure. However, once the phone is in her hand, that's it. She'll subject the listener with woes about her mom, updates on what the "guys" (her sisters) are fighting about, or serenade them with her newest musical accomplishment, the latest being: "baar baar deko, zaar baar deko". Occasionally she'll also break into dance, not realizing that her mom has an age-old phone that doesn't have video transfer capability. Her latest pastime has been to share a joke that borders on funny and obscene. It goes like this:

"Shake your booty, shake your booty, shake your booty" In a musical tune , followed by the question:

"You know what booty means? BUTT!" Followed by hysterical laughter.

I laughed the first time I heard it, I'll admit, but after the 100th time, I think the humor factor has worn out for me. Her sisters, of course, find it hilarious and keep encouraging her. Sigh..I figure the fascination with butt-jokes will wear off soon BUTT then again who am I kidding:)

Anyway, after the morning chores and getting lunch ready, I usually call DH around 11:00 to catch a quick conversation and positive energy transfer over the telephone lines. If the kids are around, they'll sometimes catch me updating him on the goings-on at home: who did what, to whom, with what, when, where, why and so on. If the call was preceded by a major event, then the guilty parties involved will overhear in anticipation to see what is being reported.

After acute observations, I guess Aishu really has caught on on this typical routine. This morning, after making sure all three had had a snack, and reading a couple of books to Aishu, I picked up the phone to call DH with Aishu sitting right next to me. Our conversation:

Aishu: Who you calling?
Me: Appa
Aishu: Why?
Me: Because.
Aishu: Why, coz i tubble you?

Queen's Afternoon Out!!

Weekends are for family, friends, and fun!! Well, not always!!
Sometimes it's more fun without the family or friends (ouch, I know it hurts but come on, every once in a while, everyone likes their space).

Since the end of June, my 3 gals and I have been on summer vacation; they've been free from their teachers and I've been free from my students!! A perfectly ideal situation, one might say, BUT put 3 hot-headed, hyper-active and loud females (oh alright, I’ll admit, 4) together for too long, and you end up with a very volatile and close to catastrophic situation. Weekdays are spent almost entirely at war but come Friday, we don our pretty smiles and pleasant demeanors for Daddy Dearest, the peacemaker of the family!! We all know that if you make Daddy happy, the chances of having your way are very high! It’s not as easy as it sounds though, and the competition around here is getting very tough. I feel like a novice compared to our gals who play him like a violin and every other instrument!!

Anyway. Back to my story.

After a particularly exhausting week and tiring day out at an amusement park on Saturday, I had just about had it. Come Sunday and I really had to take a break or act on my urge to break something!!! Sensing the intense storm brewing within me, DH volunteered to tuck the kids in for a nap. Well, that wasn’t really enough!! More, more, I needed more.

Obviously at his telepathic best, he realized that his peace and serenity depended on shelling out a lot more. The romantic, sensitive soul that he is, he held me in his arms and whispered the three magic words:

“Honey, go shopping”.

Instantly, my scowl vanished like a pair of fake moustaches the heroes wear in Hindi films. Two seconds later, I vanished from his arms only to reappear in 60 seconds, well-dressed and done, purse in 1 hand, twirling the car-keys in the other. The fastest makeover ever, externally and internally! I looked and felt great!!

I happily got in the car and raced out the driveway lest he changed his mind. Once on the road, I heard something I had never heard before in the car – Nothing. Wow! Can’t imagine why jerks driving alone get so worked up on the road. Ha!! It’s a cakewalk, guys!

I turned on the CD and happily sang along – “and on his farm he had a pig, E-I-E-I-O!!”
Aaaaaw. I’d just heard that with the kids yesterday. I wondered what they were doing.

“Anandi - It has just been 2 minutes. Pull yourself together”, my inner voice screamed.

Nah, I couldn’t miss them already. This afternoon was all about me, and my need to get recharged. I reminded myself that enjoying an afternoon off was well-deserved, and anyway I was going to be back in a couple of hours. I had to stop thinking about them for a bit and focus on myself. Selfish? Maybe but definitely needed!!

As I walked from the parking lot into Macys, I made a mental note of all the things I wanted to pick up. I didn’t need a written list, I decided. As I didn’t have the kids with me, I could rely on memory, right?

Wrong!!

Once inside, I was lost! I had no idea where to start. The mental list was unretrievable and I had to improvise. Alright, I could do this. I was there to do my back-2-school shopping. When I teach, I have to painstakingly work on my appearance to look professional. College students typically don’t take professors wearing oatmeal-stained, faded track-pants with hair shabbily held together in a pony-tail too seriously. Duty beckoned - my reason to be at the mall was justified!

I browsed through racks of clothes from India, Pakistan, China, Mexico, and a half-dozen other countries other than the US. What a treat, where else could I find such fine international smorgasbord of haute couture!! Of course, each country has its own sizing charts which meant I had to head to the fitting rooms.

It was so peaceful in there – for all of 30 seconds! At the most unopportune moment (I leave that to your imagination), I heard persistent slamming at my door, accompanied by inexplicable cacophony. I knew it!! The kids had woken up, screamed their lungs off, and now DH had brought them here…Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!!!

Quickly changing back into my clothes, I opened the door. Standing in the hallway were three little girls, probably 6, 4, and 2 along with their frazzled Mom!! The girls (thankfully, not mine) had found a way to engage themselves as their mom tried on stuff – knocking and slamming on all the doors in the fitting room!! How cool!!

The clock was ticking away and I really needed to get home, or so I thought. In all honesty, the family was probably having a whale of a time without me but in my mind, I had to get home soon. After all I was the glue that held everything together. Hey, nothing like a little self-glorification here and there!!!

My thinking was getting warped, my vision distorted. I looked through aisles of purses and bags and wondered: “could it accommodate 1 pull-up, pack of wipes, 1 change of clothes, and a sippy-cup”? I perused the shoe section to see if I could afford a pair that looked chic and savvy but could also withstand a 100-feet dash in record-breaking time at the park. My mind and feet started wandering towards the kids section to see if I could pick something that they needed. When did the afternoon that was all about me cease to be? Or did it even start?

As I quickly paid for my chosen loot, I mentally computed whether I had time to stop quickly at Shoprite to pick up J’s favorite cereal. No, maybe I should just go home straight. What were we having for dinner? Oh God, I didn’t put the laundry in the dryer. Did we have enough milk? Ironing!! Had forgotten all about that. Aaaaarghh!!

Trust my DH to thoroughly turn my routine upside down by making the most ludicrous suggestion: "Honey, go shopping". What was he thinking?

I sped back, just managing to get through every orange light, glaring at slow drivers, and muttering at the fast ones. So what if I was alone in the car, I had tons on my mind and so much to do. Get out of my way!!!

I pulled into the driveway and as the garage door opened, I saw my gals!! They seemed to be doing some sort of celebration dance with smiles a mile long. When I got out, my little one said in a happily-surprised tone: “Ma, you came back!!” Of course, honey.
My 6-year old asked if I had a good time. How thoughtful.
DH looked worn out but he smiled in anticipation. Hmmm.
Finally, my 4-year old asked: “Ma, did you think about us?”. More than you know, honey.
In fact, I've re-written the old saying to “Out of sight, A lot more on the mind”.


Disclaimer:
My motherly emotions, please dont doubt.
I ADORE my kids, even when I shout.
A lot has been written on Queen-"Highs"
Which is why my blog is about Queen-"Sighs"!!

Living in the Moment!!

Trinnng Trinnnng….Triinnnng Trinnnnng…. Trinnng Trinnnng!!!

The phone beckoned and I dashed to get to it – weaving through my two gals who seemed interlocked in meaningless combat, and dodging the third, who held a glass of orange juice precariously in one hand while juggling an open book in the other. In my mind, the mad dash was worth it, if it meant I could hear the voice of any adult who could restore my sanity.

As I think back on that day, I recall the peaceful smile on my face when my gorgeous three hugged me “Good morning” and over breakfast proclaimed me to be the “Best Ma in the world’, the proud moment when my 6-year old completed reading a 55-page chapter book, the gratitude I felt when my 4-year old helped me fold the laundry, and the pure joy as my 2-year old hugged me, saying and I quote: “ma, you so priddy”.

Needless to say after coloring, painting, play-dough, reading, debating between Teletubbies and Arthur, refereeing 4 screaming matches, dealing with spilt yogurt & spit-up banana, and a dozen arguments (which I lost hands-down) with my 2-year old, the prospect of sharing pleasantries with DH, a friend, or even a telemarketer seemed exhilarating!!!

Finally, I got to the phone and in a made-up composed voice greeted the unknown caller with all the love in the world. It wasn’t DH..darn..(he has learnt from past experience to never ever call me at 6:30 in the evening, as my first words usually are: “Haven’t you left work yet?”)

It wasn’t any of my best buddies (one is vacationing in Canada and the others were probably in similar situations themselves). It wasn’t even a neighbor who wanted to send her child over to my already over-populated home on a play-date. It was in fact – A TELEMARKETER!!

Poor man!! He was so taken aback by my musical greeting and had his hopes all raised thinking he was actually going to make a sale. In a newly-found enthusiastic fervor, he announced that I was the chosen 1 among 1000 lucky winners who were being offered an absolutely out-of-the world deal (literally) that I would absolutely die for.

Hmm… Now he had my complete attention.

Had I won a free trip around the world? Perhaps one of those sooper-dooper, hi-fi space travel deals? Hey I would have even welcomed an Ipod or a Wii. But naah, no such luck, although what he had to offer was the ultimate – a sure shot way of getting me back in the moment.

In a friendly, gently persuading baritone, he said: “Ma’am we’re offering you a special pre-construction offer for a grave and recommend that you book yours at the earliest”!!!

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttt!!!! My inner voice screamed…

Did I hear that right? Did he actually say “grave” – you know the final resting place for some. Clearly he was clueless of my religious background, leave alone my zest and plans to live for a long, long time. We were barely close to paying up the mortgage on our house and saving for 3 college tuitions and here I was expected to contemplate a no-money down offer for a grave!! How morbid!

At that very moment, snapshots of my life flashed before my eyes. All the unpleasant ways I’d ended calls from Verizon, the number of times I’d slammed the phone down on Dish and the numerous occasions where I feigned knowledge of the English language. I was so ashamed!

I politely excused myself from the conversation, saying that I wasn’t interested in the offer. No no he didn’t need to call me back, I was quite sure – I didn’t care much for a grave.

As I put the phone down, I turned and saw fresh orange juice on the recently-mopped floor, tears rolling down my 4-year old’s cheek as she tried to escape from the bat my 2-year old was chasing her with, and I said a quiet “Thank You” to God for reminding me to - LIVE IN THE MOMENT!



____

Queen's Life on Earth...or is it Jupiter?

“Romance was in the air, a cool breeze blowing, and hand-in-hand we walked on the moonlit path. After a tiring day, we welcomed the time we were spending together; even our silence spoke volumes. The birds were quietening down in their comfy nests while the crickets continued to serenade with their consistent yet melodious tunes. Fireflies sparkled mystically, illuminating the darkness. A walk under the starry skies was just what I needed and as we reached closer and closer to home, my heart was filled with eager anticipation of what was to come. Was tonight the night? Would it actually happen? Would my dreams turn to reality?”

Uhhhh....Let me back up!!
This is what I mean by Living Life Queensize. It’s all a matter of perspective, nazariya. No comprehendo, let me explaino.

Last night, romance was in the air, a cool breeze was blowing, and we did walk hand in hand on the moonlit path. Let me define WE: Dearest Hubby, myself, and our 3 daughters!! J clung to her dad’s hand as if she was never going to let go while S & A decided to tear me apart by clasping each of my hands as they proceeded to walk in opposite directions. So far so good. We were tired but it was nice to hang out as a family.

DH and I were silent, not out of choice, but more out of submission to the 3-way conversations the kids were having. I think the birds quietened down out of fear of my 2-year old’s running commentary and proclamations of everything she saw. The crickets were probably running helter-skelter, trying to get as far away from us as possible, as probably were the fireflies. S kept passing judgment on all the neighbors’ lawns on a rubric that ranged from: “looks pretty like a carpet” to “yuck”. I’m sure our neighbors are very thankful for a free analysis of their curbside appeal.

Every turn we took, A announced that she saw “another moon”, bringing the count to 12 moons by the time we got home. Gosh, were we still on the same planet? Once home, our eager anticipation was to get all 3 in bed, ASAP. In record time, we got 3 sets of teeth brushed, 3 sets of clothes changed, and 3 little monsters well tucked in their beds (energy machines, I call it, where they rest for a bit before they’re all charged to wreak havoc all over again).

Aaaah…collapsing in my own bed, I could feel my heart beating hard. A smile on my face, I couldn’t help but think. Was tonight the night? Would it actually happen? Would my dreams turn to reality?

Would all 3 girls stay in their own beds till morning and not invade our room? Would I actually get 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep?

Will keep you posted when that dream is actually realized!!

Live Life Queensize!!

Yours Truly,
Mother of three
Gorgeous gals,
My daily pals!
With them,
I can never be bored
Each day is fun-packed,
That's assured!

Married to One :)
Gorgeous man,
My best friend truly
With him I can
Savor each moment
Of every day,
Living each moment
In every way!!

Mom and Wife
That's not all ME -
There's too much I love
Many, a hobby!
But the one thing
That I truly love to do
Is to share a laugh
And memories too.

But these days,
It’s really hard,
To meet, or call, or
Drop a card
Everyone’s so busy
Playing hard to get,
But the one place to find them
Is definitely on the net!!

Thus I decided
To start this blog
To share my thoughts
Via virtual talk.
Perhaps it will
Make me wise
My main message, you ask?

“Live Life Queensize”!